5 Things That Happen In Movie Sex Scenes That Don’t Happen In Real Life

dakota-johnson-50-shades

dakota-johnson-50-shades

It’s plain and simple, like Mitch in City Slickers said, “Women need a reason to have sex.  Men just need a place”.  We all watch movies and we all have the “Awww I want that” thought, but wake up ladies! The day a sexy hot billionaire, eyeing you in a club, and then whisking you away in his private helicopter are about as likely to happen as seeing a unicorn fly and pee glitter!  Here are five things that happen in movie sex scenes that, unfortunately, just don’t happen in real life:

1)       You wake up with your make up still looking flawless – sike!  You know we all wake up after a night of dancing with mascara and eyeliner under the eyes, our breath smelling like tequila shots, and uh…  chances are “that guy” just might not be as good looking as he was with your drunk eyes in dark club.

2)       It gets so intense that he rips your clothes off – false!  I’m sorry, but if a man rips my favorite top or pencil skirt I’d be sending him an invoice the morning after!  Don’t rip my clothes! Unless of course, you’re Mr. Grey!

3)       The sheet is covering all the right places – yeah right!  You know, it’s just over his legs, but showing off his nice firm butt, and covers your nipples just slightly to give him a tease?  You know right??  No.  The sheet is always in the wrong place. It’s wedged between your legs where he should be or gets tangled when you’re trying to change positions and your foot gets stuck – yeah, that’s the sheet I know.

4)       The romantic caressing and cuddling after awesome sex – haha!  If he doesn’t cum and pass out or go off and start playing Call of Duty you’ve got a charmer lady!  No man “just cuddles” any more… and ladies, we’re guilty too, of just rolling over and tweeting about “this guy” before we even put our panties back on.  #bringbackcuddling

5)       Awesome first thing in the morning sex with the sun beaming through the shades – huh? This does not happen, especially if you have kids!  First thing in the morning are all you girl. Getting the kids ready for school, packing lunches, or taking 45 minutes to blow dry your hair before work.  Or, if you’re like me – part of the 5amclub you’re already in the gym doing squats before he wakes up. Nope – ain’t nobody got time for that!

 

 

Gucci Mane Falls Asleep During “Spring Breakers” Sex Scene

Most people know by now that a lot of rappers, singers, actors, etc. love to dabble in drugs, but what happens when they are so doped up that they can’t even function during work hours? Well, the funny this is that most cannot function and they end up doing the most ridiculous things. Recently, it has been revealed that Gucci Mane falls asleep during “Spring Breakers” sex scene that he was involved in. Harmony Korine, the director of the film, spilled the beans on how this rapper turned actor failed miserably during his scene.

The woman who had film sex with the rapper spent 45 minutes bouncing up and down on him while he slept through the whole thing because he was too high off of weed. Korine reveals, “In his entourage, everybody smokes weed from the beginning of the day to the end. So we’re inside this house in St. Petersburg, and the f*cking weed smoke was so insane and Gucci was basically catatonic. I was like, ‘Gucci, you’ve got to have sex with this chick now!’ He wanted her to ride him so he wouldn’t have to do any physical labor.”

He continued, So we’re shooting the sequence, and as he is getting f*cked, I start to hear snores. He had literally passed out! And she was riding his d*ck the whole time. I’d never in my life filmed a sex scene where the dude was sleeping. At the end, he woke up and was like, ‘I feel real nice. I feel like Mozart’s on my d*ck.’ And that was it, and he went back to sleep.”

This has to be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard in awhile. Who falls asleep while they are getting it in? It is said that the director had a few extras having real sex on his set and he simply filmed the entire thing. It seems that this extra really did have sex with Gucci Mane just by the way the director spoke about the scene. What are your thoughts?

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