Best Ways To Approach a Girl

approach

approachIf a girl seems unapproachable, it’s probably because she’s worth the trepidation: the momentary smile, the way she absentmindedly curls her hair around one finger while she chats with friends, the shape of her hips in those jeans. No eye-roll worthy pick-up line is going to suffice — you need to bring a pistol to this knife fight.

 

Be Napolean Bone-aparte

Confidence is key. You’ve got a dog in this race, and by dog we mean, your penis. But don’t let the wrong head craft your war plan. Tread lightly, because even if this isn’t your dream girl, treating the situation like it’s no ordinary come-on will mean success will surely be yours.

 

Leave the Cheese at La Fromagerie

And know what the hell a fromagerie is. It might sound crazy, but you need to have a classy conversation with a girl before you ever ask for her number. Knowing a thing or two about something other than football and basketball is the best way to get her interested. Pull out your smart phone and check what has happened in foreign policy that day, and come up with an intelligent and thought-provoking foray into a conversation. Smart guys are sexy, because they’re usually successful, but don’t sound too nerdy, or she might feel like she showed up to class without studying for the test. If you can sit down next to her, pull out your phone and act like you’re reading the news for the first time, and look over to her as though you just had to get her opinion on what happened.

 

Don’t Be a Guy Friend

The inherent danger in the non-sexual convo approach is that you might actually get along. You might unwittingly stumble into Just-a-friend-ville — and that’s no where you want to be. Make sure she knows you desire her: Every woman is flattered by subtle clues you want her. Make constant intense eye contact (win the staring contest!) and remember details about her life to bring up later in the conversation.

 

Be Sexy, Not Overzealous

In between chapters of conversation, inject delicate flirtations such as handing her a drink but holding it a few seconds too long. How you look at her should (and will) tell her everything about what you want, and who you are. Just don’t be creepy, or you’ve just blown your chances. Subtlety is key, after all, you just met, and she has a lot more to lose than you.

 

Set a Deadline on Your Next Chapter

If she’s worth all of this trouble, then you’re likely not the first suitor she’s encountered, and you’re certainly not the last — or even the best. Make sure you don’t end up a crumpled business card in the bottom of her purse by setting the stage for the next meeting. If you talked about wine, tell her you were thinking about going to a local winery or tasting and ask her along. If she mentioned she hates golf tell her you feel you both should give the entire sport a chance at the putting range. Make sure you’re not just asking her out on ‘to dinner,’ and she’s way more likely to be intrigued.

 

Is it a Relationship or Summer Fling?

summer ocean

summer beach

Summer is the season for pool parties, barbecues, and trips to the beach. For many single people, it is also an opportunity to have a summer fling. All that outdoor activity and summer fun can get people thinking of romance. Sometimes you meet somebody while you’re both on vacation, and you know in advance that when fall comes, you’ll be heading off to different cities.

Whether you’ll be staying in the same place or not at the end of the summer, the question that may be running through your mind is, “Is this just a summer fling, or could it lead to something more serious?” Here are some clues to look for. No single item is an indicator of a long-term relationship, but these are all positive signs.

1. You really like each other

Aside from the lust involved in a new relationship, do you truly enjoy spending time with each other? Do you truly like each other? It’s actually pretty easy to have a fling with somebody who is fun for awhile, knowing that you don’t really like them enough to make it long term. Think about how you feel, and see what you can tell about how they feel, too. If you both really like each other as people, and enjoy your time together, that’s a good start.

fun fling

2. You’re comfortable together

You know how some people always put you a little bit on edge, while other people make you instantly feel relaxed? While there’s a thrill to a fling with somebody in the first category, it doesn’t make for a long term relationship. Can you be yourself, or do you always feel like you’re trying to be something you’re not? For your fling to develop into more, you need to feel easy and comfortable around each other.

3. You both act “lovingly”

Does he do the little things that show he cares, like bringing your favorite wine for a romantic picnic? How about on your side? Did you remember his favorite dessert, and make it for him one evening? They say that actions speak louder than words, and that can be very true here. If you are both taking those steps that show you care about the other person, that is a good sign.

4. You have a rare closeness

This is hard to describe, but once you experience it, you know the feeling. When you’re together, you feel a certain rapport. It’s like a special kind of intimacy, and a shared understanding. Sometimes couples feel this very soon after they meet. For other people, it takes some time to develop. However it happens, this closeness can be a sign that you have something special.

Do you think about the future? When you allow yourself to daydream, do you see the two of you together sometime after summer ends? Has either of you ever mentioned getting together after August, like going to a concert together in November, or what you’re doing for Christmas? Even a casual mention can be a sign that there may be more to your romance than a summer fling.

 summer romance